An idea i’ve had for some time is finally coming to fruition. I’m going to make my own bread starter. Dude, how daunting is this? I’m feeling a bit mortified.
The boy has been telling me for years now that i ought to make my own starter; and this was all fine and dandy and i usually dismissed the idea because it IS daunting and scary and looming. Kind of like that pie crust thing i finally got over not too long ago. Kind of like that one time when i was scared to go to the bathroom in the Club Charles in Baltimore because the boy’s sister, who worked there for yearsss, told me there was a resident ghost (or two) lurking about back there.
So what sparked me into attempting this now? I was talking bread with one of my coworkers last week. He left the company last Friday, which annoys me only because in all the time i’ve worked here, i never spoke to him about food until he was just about to leave; and then we had these long ass fantastic conversations about recipes and food, and now? He’s gone off to a better job. The fucker.
I can’t remember where i saw it (someplace online), some website describing how to make your own starter with grapes, and how you know when it’s ready because the stench is unimaginable. So i told the boy about that last night, about the stench part, and he just kind of looked at me and informed me that i was to keep this starter in the garage.
And that’s when i broke out The Bread Baker’s Apprentice and read the chapter on starters (no grapes involved, but some stench required).
When i think of starters, i can’t help but remember Anthony Bourdain describing the feeding of the Bitch in Kitchen Confidential. Heh. I hope mine doesn’t evolve into this. I can’t help but associate Bourdain’s “Bitch” with the Sarlacc in Return of the Jedi, the monster desert thing in whose belly one “finds a new definition of pain and suffering as you are slowly digested over a thousand years”. Yeah. Great. Just what i need, a great looming digestive mouth system lurking in the back of my fridge. a snaggle toothed thing screaming, “FEED MEE SEYMOUR!”.
What am i getting myself in to?
I need to do further reading on the subject before i tackle it.