Thursday, July 26, 2007

not much to do with food, but everything to do with white trash

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the boy for saving me from an evening of bad television.

And when i say “bad television”, i mean really bad television.

I’ve talked about my tastes in bad tv before, although you people don’t know the half of it. i’m shamelessly (or shamefully) addicted to Big Brother... but i have a good darn reason for it! see, eons ago we started watching Big Brother 2 because we happened to know someone on the show. I use the words “happened to know” loosely, as we didn’t really know her well, but were oftentimes served drinks by her as she was one of the servers/bartenders at a local dive bar we used to go to every friggin' single day here in Atlanta, before we moved to Baltimore. And since then we’re completely hooked on that show. Other shows i watch include all those terrible, terrible british soap operas on BBC America. I started watching Footballers Wives and it’s such ridiculous trash! and Joan Collins is in it! But yet i find myself drawn to it. sigh. Someone please save me.

I got home from work yesterday and turned on the boob tube and got totally and completely hooked on this one show that is such a disastrous train wreck, but yet i couldn’t change the channel to save my life. It’s called Rock of Love and the premise is that Poor Little Bret Michaels, lead singer of the band Poison, wants a girlfriend.

Okay there are many things wrong with this show. Number 1: What the hell happened to Bret Michaels’ face? I remember him being fairly attractive back in the day (i may have been “into” hair rock back in oh, my youth, however i was never into Poison), but i don’t remember him being puffy and ugly. Has the man succumbed to too much work being done? Horrible. Number 2: he needs to face facts and come to terms with his balding. Balding is not as taboo as it used to be; in fact i’ve got a secret: chicks (reasonable, mature chicks) actually don't give a rats ass if a guy is losing his hair. Unless the guy is dating a stripper, which this show seems to be full of. I had an old boyfriend who had long blond hair, and for the entire time we dated (which was years), he wore a hat or bandana over his head every single day. He was so vain that he didn’t want anyone to know he was balding on top, so he figured he could trick everyone (and himself) by covering it up. whatever dude, game’s over, we were all in on it. Dear Mr. Michaels: it’s okay, really. You’re mid-40s now, right? Come to terms with it. let it go. Number 3: Where oh where did they find these girls? Because their intelligence level is at ground level, although i’m sure good ol’ Bret doesn’t care too much about that. He doesnt seem like he wants to have much conversation with them anyway, if you know what i mean huhuh. The show is the epitome of white trash.

Anyway, so i got all involved with this show yesterday, and i couldn't change the channel to save my life. I had my hand on the remote control, but i just couldnt' do it. And it was bad, folks. Really bad. You know it’s bad when you’re staring in horror at a bunch of women who not only look like drug-addicted strippers but who are actually fighting over Bret Michaels. I almost feel sorry for the guy. Almost.

And then the phone rang.

Boy: “What are you doing at 6 o’clock?”
Me: “I’m watching this terrible show and i can’t change the channel because it’s just that bad that i have to watch it omigod please save me...”
Boy: “We’re having a wine tasting, why don’t you come on down?”
Me: “Wine? i’m there”.

Sorry Bret.

So i called Mrs. B and off we went to sample some Chilean wines and eat some cheese, and we met a really bizarre older woman who was covered in sparkles and wore a big blue hat and befriended everyone there. The wines we had were from Viña Montes and Casa Lapostolle and were pretty good, except for one which was an acquired taste. During the tasting, the boy came out to say hi and said that he’d heard one of the wines tasted like either tobacco or leather, which is kind of intriguing, really. Tobacco and/or leather? Hmm. When we got to that particular wine, i recognized it straight away from the smell. Mrs B said that it was a very manly wine, in the same way a glass of scotch and a cigar are manly. it's actually a pretty accurate description of it. a manly wine.

and then, fueled by a good buzz, we went and had some pretty darn good Thai food from this place (who knew that Alpharetta had good Thai? I didnt!). Probably the best panang curry i’ve had in a really long time, and i’ve brought the leftovers in for today’s lunch.

Okay so for this week’s homework, i urge you people to watch an episode of Rock of Love. Because i can’t be involved in this trainwreck all by my lonesome.

2 comments:

The boy said...

Woo woo woo what do you mean you had a boyfriend?
i am not the first???

;-\

french tart said...

aw man, but you know, those other guys didn't mean anything. :)
you're my favorite.