on blueberries and vertigo. and a lot of other hooey.

Sorry for all the silence. My health took a nose dive. I think this is the worst i have felt without actually being in major physical pain. After many tests, doctor visits, visits to specialists, many ingestions of wrongly prescribed drugs to cure ailments i actually didn’t have, i was finally diagnosed with Benign Positional Vertigo. I know, that sounds like a lot of hoo-ha. I didn’t know this was a real illness (the french word, “Vertige”, means you are afraid of heights). I’ve been going to a physical therapist since Monday to help clear my inner ear canal, and lemme tell ya, it was hard not to simultaneously laugh out loud and throw up while having my head whipped around so that the PT could check how fast my eyeballs wobbled.

My self-cure for this is to watch more Headbanger’s Ball.

But seriously, that first week, i was in hell because the meds which were wrongly prescribed for me had a most negative effect. One of them acted like speed, and i did not sleep. At all. For days. I felt like i was on the worst acid trip ever, and there was no end to it. The walls bled orange rivers; i saw movement in my peripheral vision; I was convinced there were ghosts in my house. And through all this, i felt like i was ragingly seasick, felt as though if i didn’t hold on tightly to something that i was going to fall over to the left. I felt like i was on a boat in a hurricane. And yet, I couldn't keep still. I knit an entire sweater and a handbag. I cleaned the house from top to bottom. I did all of the boy’s laundry (and there was a mountain of it). I got on my hands and knees and scrubbed the floor, all this while trying not to fall over to the left. My mood was miserable.

Now that i’ve been properly diagnosed, i’m completely exhausted. I’m still seasick, and it comes in waves along with its good friend Nausea; but i’m trying to take life easy, take one thing at a time, because life has to go on, ya know? And i can’t miss any more work. I’m not supposed to be driving, but I will tell you that i am probably one of the most careful drivers out there right now because i’m so focused on driving well and keeping an eye out for the crazies, which are abundant especially on GA 400.

On Monday, while waiting for new prescriptions to be filled, i wandered around Publix and picked up a few things that make me feel good. French bread, paté, cheese, caponata spread, sushi. And then i wandered into the cookie aisle and picked up a box of Mrs Field’s chocolate chip cookies. I can’t even tell you when was the last time i bought a box of cookies, other than the occasional Fig Newton. When i want a cookie, i just make them, eat one, then give the rest away. So i went home, spread out my comfort foods, and had a cookie.

What a fucking letdown!

Those cookies were so bad that I could even taste whatever it is they use as a preservative. They’re just terrible. So i’ve decided that this weekend I’m going to make a proper cookie and i’m going to enjoy the hell out of it. and thank God that the boy bought me a camera tripod for my birthday because i’m going to need it, seeing as i've been shaking as though i’ve got Parkinson’s Disease.

In the meantime, i’ll tell you about the blueberry muffins i made while in a trance last week.

See, we had these blueberries that were just about to die in the fridge. i bought them a while back and never got around to doing anything with them. So sometime mid last week i decided to make blueberry muffins, because i was all jacked up and had to keep busy; and besides, i know for a fact that i make good muffins.

6 tablespoons butter, room temperature if possible.
3 cups flour
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/4 cups sugar, plus more for sprinkling
1 large egg
2 large egg yolks
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 cup milk
2 cups blueberries

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

Line muffin tins with paper muffin cups. I have two muffin tins, and this recipe usually makes anywhere from 12 to 18 muffins.

Sift together flour, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl; set aside.

In another bowl, cream butter and sugar on medium speed with handheld mixer or stand mixer until fluffy. Add the egg, egg yolks, and vanilla; mix until well combined. Reduce speed to low; alternate adding reserved flour mixture and milk to mixer, beginning and ending with flour. Remove bowl from mixer; gently fold in berries by hand. Divide batter among muffin tins; sprinkle each top generously with sugar*.

Bake until golden, about 30 minutes. Cool in pan 15 minutes. Remove from pan; transfer to wire rack face down, and let cool completely.

*I use vanilla sugar to top these; just fill a glass jar with sugar and put in a used vanilla pod; cover tightly and within about 2 weeks or so you’ll have wonderful vanilla scented sugar. I’ve had a container for years, which I just replenish with sugar and swap out the vanilla pod every so often when I’ve got a used one.

PS: Thank you to those of you who sent me a kind word. It means a lot.


badgeris said…
I have missed your blogs! Did they give you meclizine? I have had vertigo a few times due to sinus/inner ear issues, and that's what I was given. If I remember, it will make you drowsy...but it beats that horrendous nausea. I don't know how you functioned at all while that was going on. Hope you're feeling better!
So glad you are feeling better, but PLEASE stop driving and get all the way better!
french tart said…
they did give me meclizine and two others, but i'm not taking those anymore. taking phenergan (at night) and transderm patches.

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