on the Almighty Mini Moo

I havent brought my one-cup french press into the New Big Corporate yet, because I wasnt sure if that would look pretentious. See, i'm the New Girl; and rumor has it that she was hired to spy on everyone for the Main Corporate Office (not true). It's been hard making friends here (which has actually made it easy to focus on work). I figured i'd wait a little bit before bringing in my tiny french press and good coffee as i don't want to add to their rumor mill.

the breakroom here is equipped with this machine which dispenses a myriad of teas and coffee (like my 25 cent word there? myriad? okay, i watched Heathers far too much in my youth). there is also a display of Lipton Tea and Bigelow's Green Tea. I usually stick with trusty Lipton's, and i've been using the occasional Mini Moo in it.

so i'm sitting here this morning, drinking Lipton's with one Mini Moo in it, and i had a momentary thought about Gee - Exactly What Is In This Thing? and how many calories have i been ingesting? so i did a little Googling and found this.

Land O' Lakes Mini Moo. Ingredients: Grade A Milk and Creme, Sodium Citrade, Carrageenan, DATEM, and Tetra Sodium Pyrophosphate.

Calories: 15. Total Fat: 1g. Sodium: 10 mg. Shelf Life: 2 months.

I'm a little bothered that this is considered dairy yet is stored at room temperature. and if you don't follow the instructions and shake first - well, the product is a bit separated. Coagulated, if you will.

i just looked up the last three ingredients, which all do more or less the same thing (thicken, gel, etc), but that last one, Tetra Sodium Phyrophosphate? it's listed as "a slightly toxic and mildly irritating colorless transparent crystalline chemical compound".

This isn't much better than the alternative, which is to use the powdered creamer which is also provided in the breakroom. First ingredient on the side of that container is Corn Syrup Solids.

so i've been flying through these things at a rate of 4 a day or so - depending on how many cups of tea or coffee i've been drinking, and now i'm kind of worried. i going to bring in my own milk starting tomorrow.

Side note: yearsss ago I worked in Ocala Florida (I lived in Gainesville but couldn't find a job there, so i got a job working at a hotel in Ocala). One of the girls i worked with was married to an Official Butter Taster at Land O' Lakes. Apparently, Butter Tasters make boatloads of money. But before you get all excited and decide you want to switch careers (taste butter for a living! hell yeah!), here's the kicker: the husband was forced to eat an extremelly bland and plain diet. He was not allowed to eat salt, pepper, hot sauce; no FLAVOR of any kind was to be introduced into his food for fear that it would intrude with his butter tasting abilities.

Would you be able to do this? Swap money for taste buds? I don't think I could.


NDM said…
We used to have Flavia machines here and I miss them. I think it was part of the Starbuck's conspiracy, since they are right downstairs and are putting in a new one down the hall from the existing one. And I can't be sure, but I think I saw them hooking up an espresso machine in the cube behind mine, along with a little sandwich display case.

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