Discussion while putting ornaments on the Christmas tree last year:
The boy: who put those Dale ornaments up? I don’t want those. In fact, throw them out.
Me: what? But you love Dale. You LOVE DALE. When did you stop loving Dale?
Boy: no way. Not since he went to The Enemy.
Me: the enemy?
Me: since when is Hendrick the enemy?
Boy: since they have cheaters on their team. Like Cheaty Johnson.
Me: huh? Cheaty Johnson? Oh, you mean Jimmie Johnson? I like him. He’s cute.
Boy: that’s what I said, Cheaty Johnson. He’s not cute, he’s a cheater.
Me: you don’t like him because he’s a winner.
Boy: I don’t like him because he and his crew chief are cheaters.
Me: so you mean to tell me that even though you were a huge Dale Jr fan that now you’re not? And these ornaments you insisted on buying last year, that you did a SONG and DANCE for at Target saying you couldn’t live without, they need to go in the trash?
Discussion while putting ornaments on the Christmas tree this year:
Boy: where are the #20 ornaments? How come they’re not on the tree?
Me: because a few months ago you decided you didn’t like Tony Stewart anymore since he’s going to The Enemy. They’re over there in that box.
Boy: yeah but Joey Logano will be the new #20, so we can put those up.
Me: dude, you’re killing me.
Boy: dude, don’t call me Dude.